Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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