I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
Randomize
