I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Randomize
