It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
I can't put those talents on a resume
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
