I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
