oh god the rape fog is back!
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
That chode just called off the engagement. I just dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. And I’ve forgotten to take my birth control for the past two weeks. He’s fucked!
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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