On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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