Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
You're breaking my sexual little heart
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
Randomize
