thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
