He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
Randomize
