this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
Randomize
