wat bout pragnant strippers??
Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
Randomize
