I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
Randomize
