just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize
