You can't motorboat a personality
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
Randomize
