You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
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