I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
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