Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
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