only if we run a train.
done.
So gin and wine won't be happening again
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
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