My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
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