a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
Randomize
