My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize
