You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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