finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
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