Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
