oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
there is puke in my bra ... again
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Randomize
