My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
I have surprise drugs for everyone
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Randomize
