He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
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