i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
Randomize
