Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
Randomize
