Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
