chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
Randomize
