tell your sister to shave her snatch
you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
where are my eyebrows?
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
Randomize
