your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize
