it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
operation have a gay friend backfired
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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