new low.... made out with someone while peeing
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
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