and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
Randomize