Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
