I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
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