I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
Pants are for mortals
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
Randomize
