it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
Randomize
