I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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