I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
This girl is more easily done than said...
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
God I need to hump something, right now.
Randomize
