I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
These tits shall not be calmed
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
Randomize
