She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
Randomize
