I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
Randomize
