love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
Randomize
