i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
