I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
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