lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
i woke up with my moms heels on underneath your couch cushions
you want 1 or 2 eggos?
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Randomize
